Headstart pt.2

In most cases, dealing with an autistic child means dealing with a very picky eater. Most times it has absolutely nothing to do with taste, smell or even allergies. It’s just a decision that is made and hardly ever wavered. My son was no exception to this. He refused to eat school lunch. No matter what it was he wouldn’t eat it. Not even a school “ta va” would change his mind. I started packing him lunches full of things he liked. I packed fruit flavored yogurts, graham crackers, fruit cups, peanut butter crackers, apple or orange juice and water. Apparently, this was not good enough for his teachers. They felt he should be eating food with substance and not the “snacks” (as they put it) that I was sending. In my opinion, this became a battle for no good reason. He wasn’t underweight and I explained to them that he always had a meal prepared for him when he got home. Still wasn’t good enough. I was so frustrated with the situation that there were times I fussed at him for not eating the school lunch. I look back knowing what I didn’t know then and I regret that too. After a few more weeks of him refusing to eat the school lunch, one of his teachers pulled me into the hallway for a one on one chat. She tells me that she thinks she has figured out why my son will not eat their lunch. Her theory was that he sees people as meat and therefore won’t eat meat because to him meat equals people……………………. I had no comment for this woman. By the end of this ordeal, my son had won. He NEVER ate school lunch and got to enjoy his “snacks” 

In The Beginning

I remember my son not talking much around age 2 like other kids his age. I’m not sure what happened but that’s when everything got complicated. Being a young mother, I had no idea what autism was or that-that was what my son was dealing with. I remember seeing the “hooked on phonics” commercials around that time thinking to myself “what a great idea”. So I made my own flashcards of letters and sounds. I worked with my son every day. It was so hard at first. I actually thought he was just being stubborn. I was hard on him at times. Looking back on it, I truly regret those hard times. I forgive myself though, because I had no clue what I was dealing with. There was a bright light at the end of this dark tunnel. My son learned how to read!! I was very excited and proud of that. However, what I didn’t know and later found out was that although he could read, there was little to no comprehension of what he had read. 

Headstart pt. 1

I put my son in a public school Headstart program. I figured since he was reading so well at home that school would be a great thing for him. I thought that being around other kids his age would make him open up more. I was so proud to see my little man with his backpack on walking in a straight line to class with the other students. However, it wasn’t long before I got a phone call from one of his teachers. She said my son wasn’t talking at all. He wouldn’t even say his name when asked. Now I knew he could read and say his name because I taught him that at home. So I said to give him some time and maybe he’s just shy. After some time, there was still no change. I decided to spend the mornings in class with him. He stuck to me like glue too! One day out of the blue, he decides he’s gonna talk in class. He started spelling then reading the names of students at his table from their place-mats. At first, it was only loud enough for me to hear so I called his teacher over. He began spelling and reading a few names for her too. She was in shock and so were his classmates! They all lined up with their place-mats in hand so that he could read them. I’m not sure what changed that day for him but I couldn’t have been more proud. 

The Great “Ta Va” Mystery

My son wasn’t very good at talking but at least he was trying. At this time, he was between 2 and 3 yrs old. We were living in an apartment with a roommate who was also my best friend. One evening my son approached us and said “ta va”. Now we were dumbfounded. We had no idea what he was trying to tell us. So we started pointing at things like the TV, his favorite video tape and his toys. None of those things happened to be “ta va”. So my friend picked him up and we walked around the apartment trying to find what he wanted. From the bedrooms to the living room, still no “ta va”. When we made our way to the kitchen, my son started to smile. We had to be close! We opened all the cabinets. He pointed to one in particular so we took him to it. “Ta Va” he shouted while pointing to a box of strawberry pop tarts! “Ta Va” was pop tarts!! Mystery Solved 

Whats the difference between an IEP and a 504 Plan?

Date Updated: 8/25/2015 IEP Defined The Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) is a plan or program developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives specialized instruction and related services. 504 Plan Defined The 504 Plan is a plan developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives accommodations that will ensure their academic success and access to the learning environment. Subtle but Important Differences Not all students who have disabilities require specialized instruction. For students with disabilities who do require specialized instruction, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) controls the procedural requirements, and an IEP is developed. The IDEA process is more involved than that of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and requires documentation of measurable growth. For students with disabilities who do not require specialized instruction but need the assurance that they will receive equal access to public education and services, a document is created to outline their specific accessibility requirements. Students with 504 Plans do not require specialized instruction, but, like the IEP, a 504 Plan should be updated annually to ensure that the student is receiving the most effective accommodations for his/her specific circumstances. For more information visit these websites: www.washington.edu www.kidshealth.org www.greatschools.org www.ADayInOurShoes.com

Positive Male Role Model Needed

By the time my son was entering third grade, I noticed a change in him. He had more attitude and was more defiant at times. I realized that school was a bit stressful for him because he was different but it was more to it than that. My son’s father was absent from his life. A part of me will always wonder if it was because he couldn’t handle what came with raising a child with autism. I began to realize that a positive male influence was needed. There was only one male special education teacher working at the school within my son’s grade level. I arranged a meeting with him and expressed my concerns. At that time in my life, it was hard for me to open up to anyone especially a stranger. However, I knew I needed the help. Fortunately, I went to the right person. He understood exactly where I was coming from and what I was dealing with. He had taught children like mine for many years and was willing to take on one more. I Swear within a week of my son being in his classroom, I noticed a huge change. It was a positive change. I am so glad I was able to recognize what my son needed at the time and found it. I will forever be thankful to that teacher as well. It was one experience that showed me I can’t do it all, but there is nothing wrong with looking for positive reinforcements. 

Lover Not A Fighter

Public school was very difficult at times for my son. The fact that he couldn’t communicate like most children sometimes made him an easy target. There was no shortage of verbal abuse and humiliation hurled his way from some students. Some days it would even be physical. One day, I got so fed up with hearing from teachers what my son had to endure, I made a tough decision. I decided to teach him how to defend himself. That evening I made my young son stand in the middle of our living room floor. I talked to him about self-defense and how important it was for him to learn and know. His response to me was a blank stare. So I put both of my hands up and told him to throw a punch.

He shook his head no in response. I started to wonder if he understood what I was asking him to do and why. I asked him again to throw a punch and again he shook his head no in response! At that point, I had yet to understand what he was saying to me without using any words. Feeling frustrated, I began to cry. I raised my voice and repeated my speech on how important self-defense was. I even reached for his hand to show him how to make a fist. He pulled away and started to cry with me. It was then that I understood what he couldn’t verbally say at the time. He was a lover not a fighter. Although the torment he endured in school at times wasn’t enough for him to feel the need to retaliate, (yet) there was NOTHING I could do to make him hit ME. Even if it was just a lesson, he wasn’t doing it. I hugged him, kissed him, told him how much I love him and apologized repeatedly. His response was a hug, a kiss and laughter. At the end of our night right before bed, I asked him if he could make me a promise. I asked him to promise me that if ever he was in trouble and he needed me, he would holler loud enough so that I could come running. He shook his head yes. 

Potty Mouth Mom

Between the ages of 4 & 6, my son and I spent a lot to time at the beach. He loved the beach and it was good for the both of us to get away from the city. Side note: I was a young mother and my vocabulary included a few choice words. It was nothing to hear me curse in a good conversation or joke among friends.

OK,back to the beach. Although my son wasn’t a swimmer,he still enjoyed the water. His favorite thing to do was to chase the tide out to sea and run back as it came in. Well, this particular evening, he just wasn’t fast enough. The water went over his head forcing him face first into the sand! I picked him up and brushed him off. I asked him if he was OK and he shook his head yes. We sat on the beach for a little while longer before deciding to leave. On the walk back to our room, I asked him if he wanted to chase the water again, I was expecting him to shake his head no but instead I got a response I’ll never forget. “Oh Hell No,” is what he said,with a straight face! Looking into his eyes, I KNEW he understood what he was saying and I understood he was serious. 

P S He loves it when I tell this story!! :-)